I love painting. It’s the worst.

Yeah, so I love painting. It’s the best. Sorta.

When I’m painting for a long stretch of time (you’re supposed to frequently take a step back from a painting… but I get lazy, so this may be part of the problem) and I walk away from a painting I am always shocked to see it again. Sometimes it’s a good shock, like: “Oh wow, I’m awesome.” But usually it’s more of a: “Wait… WHAT. I’ve been working on this for x hours and it’s not good at all. I’m a failure!”

And sometimes I switch back and forth between believing I’m awesome and believing I’m  failure quite rapidly. It’s truly a dizzying experience.

However, a few things seem to calm me down:

  1. I remember that I’m still learning.
  2. I remember that I’m still learning. AAANND that my learning time (& budget) has been fairly restricted this past year, so I may be learning slower than I have in years past. And that’s ok. Because generally, I’m still headed up the mountain.
  3. A good cup of coffee.
  4. Posting a painting on social media and having friends and family say nice things about it (even though they aren’t artists, it feels good. And that helps a lot.)

 

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Stopping and starting and stopping and starting…

You know, for as much as I love drawing and painting you’d think I would do more of it.

Sure, I could blame my day job. It is absolutely easier to make art when I’m not working. But I cannot justify watching four consecutive episodes of Parks & Rec (but it’s so goooooood) when I could be practicing my drawing or starting a new painting.

I have time available to me.

I forgive myself for being silly with my time (it’s important to live a silly life, I am sure of it) but I know that there is a little tiny voice inside me dying to create. But I get nervous and squirmy at the thought of making a bad piece of art… so I go eat some chocolate and distract myself instead.

So here’s to a daily art practice that I am starting… again. And if I get nervous and stop I will just start again. And again. And again. Because starting again is the most important thing.

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I’ve started at the beginning of the Watts Atelier curriculum (again) and I will work my way through it. Here are some skull studies I did for one of the first course assignments.