Kicking it up a notch

Things are settling into place now. Unpacking and setting up the new home is essentially done. It’s been 5 moves in the past 3 years, and I must say I’m loving the warm fuzzy feeling of a year-long lease.

The studio space is set up. I’ve unpacked all my supplies and flipped through old paintings (some worse than I remember, some better). I’ve cut back my day job hours to the bare minimum, and I’ve signed up for a weekend workshop with Sean Cheetham at BACAA (Bay Area Classical Artist Atelier) in April. I feel like a total ass-kicking artist ready to take things to the next level.

Mostly.

The rest of my brain swings wildly between “THIS IS TOO MUCH. I CAN’T DO IT. I’ll just stick with the day job, thankyouverymuch.” and “AAHHHHH!!!” (*AAHHHHH roughly translates to: extreme fits of excitement akin to the ravings of a three year old on a sugar high). Both make it very difficult for me to get shit done.

So I’ve chosen a fun experimental painting to work on for the next day or so (pictures to come). And I take little breaks to calm my crazy-self down before getting back to business. Because my crazy self isn’t a great painter, let me tell ya.

In other news, if you’re in the bay area make sure to stop by the 56th Annual Lodi Community Spring Art Show at the Woodbridge Winery April 15-17 where several of my paintings will be on display. Including these two:

 

I love painting. It’s the worst.

Yeah, so I love painting. It’s the best. Sorta.

When I’m painting for a long stretch of time (you’re supposed to frequently take a step back from a painting… but I get lazy, so this may be part of the problem) and I walk away from a painting I am always shocked to see it again. Sometimes it’s a good shock, like: “Oh wow, I’m awesome.” But usually it’s more of a: “Wait… WHAT. I’ve been working on this for x hours and it’s not good at all. I’m a failure!”

And sometimes I switch back and forth between believing I’m awesome and believing I’m  failure quite rapidly. It’s truly a dizzying experience.

However, a few things seem to calm me down:

1. I remember that I’m still learning.
2. I remember that I’m still learning. AAANND that my learning time (& budget) has been fairly restricted this past year, so I may be learning slower than I have in years past. And that’s ok. Because generally, I’m still headed up the mountain.
3. A good cup of coffee.
4. Posting a painting on social media and having friends and family say nice things about it (even though they aren’t artists, it feels good. And that helps a lot.)